


loose ends

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/F, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24300067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: Being asked if you’re okay by the person who hurt you in the first place aches differently than any other pain Jungeun’s had to endure.
Relationships: Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul & Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip
Comments: 12
Kudos: 158





	loose ends

Jungeun’s heart hammers against her chest as she makes eye-contact with the one person she’s been trying to avoid for almost a year. Jiwoo had dragged her to this party, telling Jungeun that she definitely wouldn’t run into  _ her _ because the party’s invite-only and  _ she’s _ not friends with the party-thrower.

Jiwoo was wrong.

It’s almost surprising how quick Jinsol finds Jungeun in the crowd. She’d only just walked into the backyard filled with people splashing in the pool and hanging around it when she spots Jungeun.

The smile that was on Jungeun’s lips drops almost instantly. 

Jinsol looks away as the girl she came with grabs her by the hand and drags her towards some group of people who were apparently expecting them, because Jinsol’s pulled into hugs and she smiles and laughs and Jungeun feels her heart drop lower and lower.

She wants to leave. She wants to leave so bad.

But Jiwoo was her ride here and she’d feel bad leaving without her best friend. Besides, Jiwoo’s having the time of her life right now in the pool. Jungeun doesn’t want to damper her mood with her own personal problems. 

So: Jungeun plasters a smile on her lips once more -- this time it’s less genuine -- and continues to talk to the people surrounding her. They don’t notice her change in mood and they don’t question Jungeun when she excuses herself to go inside of the house. 

It’s the farthest she can get away from Jinsol without actually leaving the party.

She’s greeted by the people inside who are sitting on couches in the living room. Jungeun smiles politely and asks where the bathroom is. Her demeanor changes entirely once she’s in the bathroom with the door locked and closed.

Jungeun’s shoulders slouch and the brightness on her face dims. She stares into the mirror above the sink, staring at herself and just trying to make herself seem less…  _ pathetic _ . She feels pathetic enough, she’d rather not look like it, too.

She washes her face and fixes her hair, smiling in the mirror and perfecting her expression to hide how she really feels.

Her practice doesn’t matter though because as soon as she opens the bathroom door, she locks eyes with the blonde who broke her heart all those months ago. Jinsol’s leaning on the wall across the bathroom door, phone in hand. She’d looked up just as the bathroom door opened.

They’re silent and unmoving for a few seconds before Jinsol stops leaning on the wall and pockets her phone.

“Hey,” she says warily.

Jungeun nods as a reply, not trusting her voice at the moment.

…

… 

… 

Once Jungeun realizes Jinsol’s not going to say anything else, she starts to walk away.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Jinsol raising a hand to stop her, but she retracts it at the last second. Her heart skips a beat as she continues down the hallway.

When she returns to the backyard, Jiwoo’s wrapped in a towel. Her friend hurries up to her, eyes worried.

“I saw--”

“I know,” Jungeun cuts her off. 

Jiwoo eyes her, concern painted all over her face.

“Do you want to leave? We can leave,” Jiwoo asks.

“It’s fine,” Jungeun shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

“Jungeun…”

“Jiwoo,  _ really _ ,” Jungeun insists. The pain in her heart continues to grow. “I’m okay.”

“Alright...” Jiwoo trails off, still watching her carefully. “You can tell me when you want to leave, okay?”

“Okay,” Jungeun smiles. She gestures to the pool. “Go back in. I know you want to.”

Jiwoo’s lips twitch upwards from her concerned frown into a giddy smile. She takes her towel off and Jungeun offers to hold it for her.

“You’ll tell me when you want to leave?”

“ _ Yes _ , Jiwoo,” Jungeun rolls her eyes.

“Okay,” Jiwoo hums. She presses a quick kiss to Jungeun’s cheek before cannon-balling into the pool.

The gesture makes the hurt in Jungeun’s heart pause, only for a second, but it’s still something.

-

Even when the sun starts to set, people are still swimming. If anything,  _ more _ people are swimming now. Jungeun sits with her legs in the pool as Jiwoo swims back and forth in front of her. 

Eventually, Jiwoo places her arms on the spot next to Jungeun, looking up at her.

“Do you want to leave?”

Jungeun rolls her eyes. “The answer is still the same from the last time you asked, Jiwoo. Which was less than five minutes ago, by the way.”

“I’m just--!” Jiwoo lightly slaps Jungeun’s thigh. “I’m trying to be a good friend.”

At the pout on Jiwoo’s lips, Jungeun sighs.

“I know, Jiwoo. I appreciate it,” she says. “I’m really okay, though. She’s preoccupied with her own group of friends so I don’t think she’ll try to come up to us.”

Jiwoo looks over to where Jinsol is, but quickly averts her gaze. Jungeun quirks an eyebrow at this and looks over, too. She notices the girl Jinsol had come with staring at them--particularly at Jiwoo.

Jungeun whistles, “Her friend might try to come up to us, though.”

“Shut up,” Jiwoo hisses.

Jungeun laughs, “Has she been staring at you this entire time?”

“Yes,” Jiwoo answers.

Jungeun kicks some water lightly, smiling at Jiwoo. “Do you want me to leave so she can finally make a move?”

“ _ What _ ?!”

“I can go to the bathroom real quick or something,” Jungeun offers.

“Jungeun!” Jiwoo whines, splashing Jungeun with water.

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’,” Jungeun sing-songs.

Jiwoo’s face is tomato-red as she avoids Jungeun’s eyes.

…

Jungeun stands.

“I’ll be back,” she grins. She puts on her sandals and walks out of the backyard, heading towards the front of the house where it’s quieter. Nobody’s there as Jungeun sits on the front steps of the house. She stares at all the parked cars lining the street, unsure how to feel.

She settles on feeling empty. 

_ It’s the most energy-conserving emotion out of her options _ , she thinks.

Jungeun doesn’t know how much time has gone by before she hears the footsteps of someone coming from her right. Looking up, Jungeun’s stomach swoops when she sees it’s Jinsol.

“Hey,” Jinsol repeats the same word she’d said earlier.

Jungeun nods, repeating the same action she’d done earlier.

“Can I sit?” Jinsol points to the stairs.

Jungeun shrugs and Jinsol takes that as a ‘yes’ as she sits on the step below Jungeun. 

“Sooyoung left me to go talk to Jiwoo,” Jinsol says with a small laugh. Sooyoung must be the girl who was staring. “Subtly isn’t her strongest trait.”

Jungeun simply hums.

Jinsol’s staring at her, but Jungeun stares ahead.

…

“Are you okay?”

Jungeun lets out a snort. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, you’re sitting here...  _ alone  _ when there’s a party going on.”

“I’m fine,” Jungeun says, making a mental note not to grit her teeth as she does so.

...

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Jinsol whispers.

“Yeah, I believe it,” Jungeun replies. Jinsol looks at her in confusion. Jungeun doesn’t look back at her as she answers the unasked question. “You wouldn’t be here if you knew.”

Jinsol almost reels back at the statement, a frown on her lips. “How are you so sure about that?”

“Because you…” Jungeun trails off, thinking better of her words. She shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“ _ Jungeun _ .”

Jungeun rolls her eyes, attempting to hide her pain through annoyance. And truly, she  _ is  _ annoyed. Jinsol’s the one and only person who can get under her skin like this. And she  _ hates _ it.

She hates how one person can be so impactful on her. It’s embarrassing. 

“Why are you talking to me, Jinsol?” Jungeun asks, trying her best to sound firm and emotionless. “Go back to the party.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Jinsol huffs. “I’m talking to you because I… I miss you.”

“Bullshit,” Jungeun mumbles. The hurt from months ago starts bubbling up inside of her again, overflowing as the memories come back. 

She’s angry. She’s hurt. She’s vulnerable. She’s… completely in love. 

She blinks away her tears. “That’s complete bullshit.”

“I  _ do  _ miss--”

“ _ You don’t miss someone you completely cut off, _ ” Jungeun snaps, looking towards Jinsol with fire in her eyes. “You don’t  _ get  _ to miss me, Jinsol.”

“And you don’t get to tell me how I’m supposed to feel,” Jinsol replies, also getting riled up.

“And you don’t get to try and talk to me like you didn’t break up with me with no explanation,” Jungeun says. 

“I  _ gave  _ you an explanation.”

“You gave me an  _ excuse _ ,” Jungeun retorts.

“It wasn’t an excuse…” Jinsol’s tone gets quieter, shaky even. 

Jungeun takes a deep breath and looks away. “That’s what it felt like to me.”

“Well, it wasn’t an excuse to  _ me _ ,” Jinsol whispers. “Why don’t you get that?”

Jungeun’s jaw visibly tenses as she stares at the dark street. 

Jinsol sniffles and it makes Jungeun’s heart break more than it’s already been broken.

“Why don’t you get that?” she repeats.

“Because we don’t get each other,” Jungeun answers, her own voice just as heartbreakingly uneven as Jinsol’s.

“So we’re just going to give up?” Jinsol asks.

Jungeun looks at her once more, eyes riddled with tears. She grits her teeth. “ _ You _ left  _ me _ .”

They stare at each other and Jungeun thinks the sound of her heart breaking is audible. She thinks that her heart finally breaks into a million tiny pieces. Jinsol stands, and Jungeun watches as she does so.

“I don’t know why I thought things would be different after we spent some time apart,” Jinsol says, facing away from Jungeun.

_ This is familiar _ , Jungeun thinks.

They’re back to being cold. They’re back to hurting each other with words because vulnerability is too hard for them. 

“You’ve left me before,” Jungeun says. “You can leave again.”

Jinsol tightens both of her hands into a fist. She stays for a few more moments, like she’s debating whether or not to actually leave. 

…

…

…

…

...

Eventually, she starts to walk away, and Jungeun averts her gaze to her feet.

Jungeun takes heavy breaths to try and calm herself, to not let the sobs escape her mouth. 

She sits there in silence,  _ alone _ . 

The heartbreak of Jinsol leaving the second time around hurts just as much as the first time. 

....

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Eventually, she fishes her phone out of her pocket.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**[Jiwoo]: i want to go home.**

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> twt: @sxft_aus  
> cc: @sxft_aus


End file.
